On the shore
I wait and tremble
Knowing not was is to come
Your whispering call
Is hard to ignore
And your hands are ghosts at my sides
Though my fears tug me back
I go on foreword
For the shadows have past
And I now walk in the light
Though my path is unknown
And my future unclear
I know it must all begin here
One chance, one choice
A break of a wave
Over the surface of my life
Let the ripple come
And reach my restful water
Put in motion
My new found life
Though my eyes are blind
To what is to come
I must take that destined dive
To begin
What will be
And what will become the past
Like endless drifting ocean
Life is just a cycle
Crashing and returning
To whence it came
My past stays with me
My future is but a step away
So as I stand on the shore
I move with certainty
For my future waits
Without a doubt
It is there for all to see
And I go for all my past
And make my present
What it was meant to be
With simple lapping of the waves
My journey begins
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
UW Oshkosh
Today, I visited UW Oshkosh for their Express Yourself preview day. Overall, I enjoyed the day. I really appreciated that they had a preview day for specific majors. It made my selection process much easier.
The first session was about internships. Though, it was mostly focused on journalism, I did get the idea they wanted to get across. Get an internship. And they can help me to do so. So naturally, that was nice. Only complaint was that it was very early and I found myself zoning out a bit and unable to focus at times.
At this point, I am all alone. No parents or friends along with me. But thankfully, two guys decided to talk to me. Alex and Kyle, I owe most of my enjoyment of the day to you. You also showed me that I still can make friends easily. That will come in handy.
The second session was about social media in journalism. However they also talked about communications, which I am interested in minoring. So that was nice. They also showed new techniques they practice that use facebook, twitter, youtube, ect to analyze people. Very nice. I enjoyed it a lot.
Next was lunch. The food was yummy and veghead friendly. Alex and Kyle made sure I didn't have to sit alone like a sad little high schooler. They also had friends on campus, who came and sat with us. I got to learn more about student life and get a taste of the variety of people on campus. Thank you, students whose name I cannot remember.
The third session was my favorite. Creative Writing! Unfortunately, like most UW, they only have it as a minor. But it goes very well with an English major and work nicely as a double minor with communications. The teachers that persented were very cool and open. They answered all of my questions and seemed very interested in me. They gave me some advice on what classes to take and were really nice and open.
I took a tour of campus. It is much larger than Green Bay and seems a bit more organized. And there were a lot more people around! Our tour guide also told us a lot about what there is to do around campus and all of the groups and clubs there are. That was nice. We also got to spy on some lectures and sit in a classroom. The dorm rooms are...dorm roomy. A bit bigger than Point! But hey, it's college. And they are building a suit dorm that will be for sophomores are will be first opened to student when I am a sophomore. Fate? The gym looked cool with lots of free dance classes. Even zumba! And the library was nice, lots of books (surprise lol). Oh and there campus store was having a books less than $2 sale. Ah, my kind of store. With a big coffee place right next door. Brilliant set up.
So, in a few words, new top runner.
The first session was about internships. Though, it was mostly focused on journalism, I did get the idea they wanted to get across. Get an internship. And they can help me to do so. So naturally, that was nice. Only complaint was that it was very early and I found myself zoning out a bit and unable to focus at times.
At this point, I am all alone. No parents or friends along with me. But thankfully, two guys decided to talk to me. Alex and Kyle, I owe most of my enjoyment of the day to you. You also showed me that I still can make friends easily. That will come in handy.
The second session was about social media in journalism. However they also talked about communications, which I am interested in minoring. So that was nice. They also showed new techniques they practice that use facebook, twitter, youtube, ect to analyze people. Very nice. I enjoyed it a lot.
Next was lunch. The food was yummy and veghead friendly. Alex and Kyle made sure I didn't have to sit alone like a sad little high schooler. They also had friends on campus, who came and sat with us. I got to learn more about student life and get a taste of the variety of people on campus. Thank you, students whose name I cannot remember.
The third session was my favorite. Creative Writing! Unfortunately, like most UW, they only have it as a minor. But it goes very well with an English major and work nicely as a double minor with communications. The teachers that persented were very cool and open. They answered all of my questions and seemed very interested in me. They gave me some advice on what classes to take and were really nice and open.
I took a tour of campus. It is much larger than Green Bay and seems a bit more organized. And there were a lot more people around! Our tour guide also told us a lot about what there is to do around campus and all of the groups and clubs there are. That was nice. We also got to spy on some lectures and sit in a classroom. The dorm rooms are...dorm roomy. A bit bigger than Point! But hey, it's college. And they are building a suit dorm that will be for sophomores are will be first opened to student when I am a sophomore. Fate? The gym looked cool with lots of free dance classes. Even zumba! And the library was nice, lots of books (surprise lol). Oh and there campus store was having a books less than $2 sale. Ah, my kind of store. With a big coffee place right next door. Brilliant set up.
So, in a few words, new top runner.
NaNoWriMo'10 - beginning
And in that moment, I was utterly alone. A fresh breeze picked up and fluttered my hair. I shuffled my feet against the grey concrete and bit my slightly chapped lips. I tucked my hair back in place and eyed the area around me. Mothers were clutching their new young adults and fathers were patting their backs offering comforting words. A girl near me was fighting back tears. Most of the guys just looked uncomfortable. Other families kept it short. Just pats on the back, last minute checking, maybe a quick hug,and then it was over. Mine was too drawn out.
“Everything out?” my father said as he looked into the obviously empty trunk of the minivan.
“So it seems,” I said and shifted my weight from one foot to the other.
“If you have any trouble with the loft, just ask the front desk, they’ve all done it before,” my mother tittered and shuffled her keys.
“Right,” I nodded.
“Make sure you get a chain or something to put your key on,” my father reminded as he caught sight of it in my hands. I tucked it into my pocket.
“Sure thing,” I returned with a small smile.
“And...” my mother said slowly, searching for more reminders. “And...just call if you need anything.”
“Anytime,” my father reassured.
“Thanks,” I said, “I will.”
“Well then,” my father said, “Must be off.” He pulled me in for a hug and I returned it. I turned to face my mother and she had her turn. She smiled straight, but I saw her eyes getting watery.
“You’ll do great,” she whispered in my ear.
“Thanks, Mom,” I said back.
They stepped away and repeated some last minute reminders. I nodded at each one, hoping to be reassuring. My mother reached out of the passenger side window and squeezed my hand. My father waved as he backed out. With a turn of a corner, they were gone.
They had kept it clean, no snot or tears left on me. Pretty good for single kid parents. I was grateful. But now, as I stood in a sea of families, I was sticking out anyway. So I took a breath and stuffed my hands into my pockets. I turn and headed into my dorm.
The halls had become sparse. I passed a couple of rooms with doors open.
A group of guys in the one, shouting and crowding. The next a guy hunched over his computer. Up the stairs. Two girls squealing. A girl talking loudly on her phone. One just sitting there. In her new butterfly chair, staring at the wall. And then my room. The door was already open. My new roommate was at her computer with ear buds in. Her eyes strayed to me as I walked in. I sat down at my desk under my loft. She swiveled her chair to face me. She paused her ipod and removed the ear buds. She eyed me from behind her red rectangle glasses.
Her name was Jillian. We first corresponded a month earlier. She had a list of what she would bring to the room and what she expected me to bring. She checked in a week later to make sure I had it all. Then she disappeared until orientation. Her almond eyes were sharp and a deep green. She tucked a loose hair expertly back into her bun.
“You left the door open,” she said.
“Oh,” I said and stood up. I shut it quietly. Jillian tilted her head at me.
“You left it open when you left,” she said.
“Oh,” I said again. I leaned against the door awkwardly. “Sorry.”
“Someone could have come in,” she explained as she adjusted her blouse.
“Yeah, I was distracted,” I said and brushed my hand against the wall. “I'll close it from now on.”
Jillian observed me for a minute longer and then returned to her original position. I opened my mouth to ask...something. What are you listening to? What are you working on? Are you always going to be this way? But I just closed it instead. I returned to my desk and turned on my shiny, new laptop. My background of a picture of me and my friends smiling and cheering from graduation greeted me. I stared at their frozen smiling pictures and then glanced back at Jillian. Welcome to college.
“Everything out?” my father said as he looked into the obviously empty trunk of the minivan.
“So it seems,” I said and shifted my weight from one foot to the other.
“If you have any trouble with the loft, just ask the front desk, they’ve all done it before,” my mother tittered and shuffled her keys.
“Right,” I nodded.
“Make sure you get a chain or something to put your key on,” my father reminded as he caught sight of it in my hands. I tucked it into my pocket.
“Sure thing,” I returned with a small smile.
“And...” my mother said slowly, searching for more reminders. “And...just call if you need anything.”
“Anytime,” my father reassured.
“Thanks,” I said, “I will.”
“Well then,” my father said, “Must be off.” He pulled me in for a hug and I returned it. I turned to face my mother and she had her turn. She smiled straight, but I saw her eyes getting watery.
“You’ll do great,” she whispered in my ear.
“Thanks, Mom,” I said back.
They stepped away and repeated some last minute reminders. I nodded at each one, hoping to be reassuring. My mother reached out of the passenger side window and squeezed my hand. My father waved as he backed out. With a turn of a corner, they were gone.
They had kept it clean, no snot or tears left on me. Pretty good for single kid parents. I was grateful. But now, as I stood in a sea of families, I was sticking out anyway. So I took a breath and stuffed my hands into my pockets. I turn and headed into my dorm.
The halls had become sparse. I passed a couple of rooms with doors open.
A group of guys in the one, shouting and crowding. The next a guy hunched over his computer. Up the stairs. Two girls squealing. A girl talking loudly on her phone. One just sitting there. In her new butterfly chair, staring at the wall. And then my room. The door was already open. My new roommate was at her computer with ear buds in. Her eyes strayed to me as I walked in. I sat down at my desk under my loft. She swiveled her chair to face me. She paused her ipod and removed the ear buds. She eyed me from behind her red rectangle glasses.
Her name was Jillian. We first corresponded a month earlier. She had a list of what she would bring to the room and what she expected me to bring. She checked in a week later to make sure I had it all. Then she disappeared until orientation. Her almond eyes were sharp and a deep green. She tucked a loose hair expertly back into her bun.
“You left the door open,” she said.
“Oh,” I said and stood up. I shut it quietly. Jillian tilted her head at me.
“You left it open when you left,” she said.
“Oh,” I said again. I leaned against the door awkwardly. “Sorry.”
“Someone could have come in,” she explained as she adjusted her blouse.
“Yeah, I was distracted,” I said and brushed my hand against the wall. “I'll close it from now on.”
Jillian observed me for a minute longer and then returned to her original position. I opened my mouth to ask...something. What are you listening to? What are you working on? Are you always going to be this way? But I just closed it instead. I returned to my desk and turned on my shiny, new laptop. My background of a picture of me and my friends smiling and cheering from graduation greeted me. I stared at their frozen smiling pictures and then glanced back at Jillian. Welcome to college.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Summer's A Coming...(choo choo)
Well once again I took a time off from blogging. Though of course now that school's on it's lasts bit there will be much more time of the free type. I have missed it so. But currently all I have on my mind is finishing finals and going to the BEACH!!! Beach beach beach. Sand, sun, and shore. lalalala, a good time is to be had.
Sooo, what has happened...I ran for student government. Fail. Well not really since Kevin Seivert ran and I basically accepted defeat at the beginning. Plus it is work and work is a bothersome concept. Birr announced Sings. Fail. Cry forever. Pain oh so sad. But now I okay. Just my heart will be forever stained by the blood from being stabbed by a dagger plunged into my heart as Birr sang prayer of the children. Indeed.
Other than that same ol' same ol'. School, blah. Thank goodness for summer because I think my eyes would decay from looking at all those teachers day after day as they sucked my very soul from my body with lessons of the utmost unimportance. Also I am basically falling asleep in every class. But two finals down, five to go. Birr has mercifully skipped the ridiculous absurdity he calls a written final.
I just want to add here that my mother has developed a horrible disease that which I fear there is no cure. She has to say aloud every possible thought that comes to her mind and believes I am actually interested.
Now, what was I saying? Finals? Well, that's a depressing subject. Speaking of depressing, graduation of the seniors. I currently spend most of my time with three seniors - Phil, Phill, and George. I listed them based on how close they are distant wise to me, but if you want to know friendship wise flipped the list around. Oh, how will I ever live with out George. Cry forever. Phill at least calls me all the time and we have quince. And Phil, well I haven't gotten him to leave me alone yet, so I expect him to hang about a while. But still, very sad as always. And today we did the whole slide show, move to new sections thing. I am now an offical (if your definition of offical is guided by where you but you ass) senior. That means I'll be the one leaving this time next year. Thank goodness, with a touch of sadness. But meh, let's procrastinate on that feeling for a while.
So..Quince? Yay quince! I am so happy to be in it! I just hope my work schedule won't be too hinder-some. I can't wait to start dancing, even though I am not in the advance dance group. But ah well, maybe if I do well and stand out this year, I can get more dancey next year. Oh how hopeful it all begins. But all in all, it will be a lot of fun. Because I get to be with most of you again! Yay! And also Meghan, Sarah, and Gabby. We established ourselves as lovers today. We also plan to take over the world by converting people into vegheads and planting a giant veghedge of our vegchildren longer than the wall of China. This is the beginning of a very unique friendship.
I love theatre, it brings out the crazy in people.
Sooo, what has happened...I ran for student government. Fail. Well not really since Kevin Seivert ran and I basically accepted defeat at the beginning. Plus it is work and work is a bothersome concept. Birr announced Sings. Fail. Cry forever. Pain oh so sad. But now I okay. Just my heart will be forever stained by the blood from being stabbed by a dagger plunged into my heart as Birr sang prayer of the children. Indeed.
Other than that same ol' same ol'. School, blah. Thank goodness for summer because I think my eyes would decay from looking at all those teachers day after day as they sucked my very soul from my body with lessons of the utmost unimportance. Also I am basically falling asleep in every class. But two finals down, five to go. Birr has mercifully skipped the ridiculous absurdity he calls a written final.
I just want to add here that my mother has developed a horrible disease that which I fear there is no cure. She has to say aloud every possible thought that comes to her mind and believes I am actually interested.
Now, what was I saying? Finals? Well, that's a depressing subject. Speaking of depressing, graduation of the seniors. I currently spend most of my time with three seniors - Phil, Phill, and George. I listed them based on how close they are distant wise to me, but if you want to know friendship wise flipped the list around. Oh, how will I ever live with out George. Cry forever. Phill at least calls me all the time and we have quince. And Phil, well I haven't gotten him to leave me alone yet, so I expect him to hang about a while. But still, very sad as always. And today we did the whole slide show, move to new sections thing. I am now an offical (if your definition of offical is guided by where you but you ass) senior. That means I'll be the one leaving this time next year. Thank goodness, with a touch of sadness. But meh, let's procrastinate on that feeling for a while.
So..Quince? Yay quince! I am so happy to be in it! I just hope my work schedule won't be too hinder-some. I can't wait to start dancing, even though I am not in the advance dance group. But ah well, maybe if I do well and stand out this year, I can get more dancey next year. Oh how hopeful it all begins. But all in all, it will be a lot of fun. Because I get to be with most of you again! Yay! And also Meghan, Sarah, and Gabby. We established ourselves as lovers today. We also plan to take over the world by converting people into vegheads and planting a giant veghedge of our vegchildren longer than the wall of China. This is the beginning of a very unique friendship.
I love theatre, it brings out the crazy in people.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Ah...Relaxing
I have decided that three day weekends may be the greatest things in the school world. Like I am so happy right now. But in the zen way. And Carl had to get gas yesterday so now I got to enjoy my coffee and bagel and every one knows how much I love the perfect breakfast. And eventually I will go get my backpack to touch up my English paper (the 10 page research one >:P) and be responsible and all. And maybe I will get to update my ipod, load prom pictures, and play some Pokemon gaming! Carl got me the new version of gold and a Dratini!!! I see why I love him now.
Meanwhile, I have had a bit of a break from here. So...I could try to update on everything, but that would be silly. Soooo just the cool stuff lately.
Prom. Well Prom could have been worse and could have been better. But Carl looked very nice and I love my dress. And all of my friends looked pretty and we all got dates and did the march and lalala all fun and games. Carl dances like a lunatic and got pictures in the paper haha. I danced with all my friends. Went to post prom and got second place with our exchange student beating me and won $5 to Manty coffee. Good times good times.
Tour. Choir went down to Orlando and it was coolie. I rode down with Tonya in the day and Olivia at night. Both were nice. And my room was AMAZING of Olivia, Meghan Berry, and Sarah McMahn. And I discovered I love them all. And all of the parks were fun. I got to go on all of the cool rides. Even the Tower of Terror, which was crazy awesome. But I would have to say the Rocking Rollarcoaster was the favorite. Andy Garene said shit when he messed up his solo at Epoc and all heard. Tonya had a temper tantrum for not getting to meet Mulan. Our buses went to the wrong college twice. Our buses left us at the beach and got lost. And the food was yummy. Awesome time.
That was the interesting stuff. Otherwise, meeeh. My friends are kinda odd lately. I'm a bit distant from them, which I was all sad about. But then Georgie talked to me and got me out of my funk. So now I'm just chilling and leaning toward my new found friends like Meghan and Haley. And I'm also reconnecting with Emmy and Tiffany. But I'm not pushing anything. I'm just going to chill and go with it. Everything changes after all.
So a cat food commercial was just on and the cat got to jump through a magic mirror into a world of fantasy and I thought "I want to eat that" then I remembered it was cat food. So I can't eat it. Sigh.
Well time to go be responsible.
Meanwhile, I have had a bit of a break from here. So...I could try to update on everything, but that would be silly. Soooo just the cool stuff lately.
Prom. Well Prom could have been worse and could have been better. But Carl looked very nice and I love my dress. And all of my friends looked pretty and we all got dates and did the march and lalala all fun and games. Carl dances like a lunatic and got pictures in the paper haha. I danced with all my friends. Went to post prom and got second place with our exchange student beating me and won $5 to Manty coffee. Good times good times.
Tour. Choir went down to Orlando and it was coolie. I rode down with Tonya in the day and Olivia at night. Both were nice. And my room was AMAZING of Olivia, Meghan Berry, and Sarah McMahn. And I discovered I love them all. And all of the parks were fun. I got to go on all of the cool rides. Even the Tower of Terror, which was crazy awesome. But I would have to say the Rocking Rollarcoaster was the favorite. Andy Garene said shit when he messed up his solo at Epoc and all heard. Tonya had a temper tantrum for not getting to meet Mulan. Our buses went to the wrong college twice. Our buses left us at the beach and got lost. And the food was yummy. Awesome time.
That was the interesting stuff. Otherwise, meeeh. My friends are kinda odd lately. I'm a bit distant from them, which I was all sad about. But then Georgie talked to me and got me out of my funk. So now I'm just chilling and leaning toward my new found friends like Meghan and Haley. And I'm also reconnecting with Emmy and Tiffany. But I'm not pushing anything. I'm just going to chill and go with it. Everything changes after all.
So a cat food commercial was just on and the cat got to jump through a magic mirror into a world of fantasy and I thought "I want to eat that" then I remembered it was cat food. So I can't eat it. Sigh.
Well time to go be responsible.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Finals...AGONY
Ugh, I am sitting here in Sociology doing nothing but freaking out about my math final. And also realizing how much I hate Mr. Brewer because he still has not told us what our Chem final is about. WTF (mate)? (He is not mate of mine, not even in the Australian way) So get ready for some major complaining!
As Kory has mentioned to me, his finals were much worse so I should shut up. Well that just makes me realize that my life will continue to suck! Thanks bud...but tis not your fault. I just really want all As and I am so close! Math and Chem are only like .4 and .3 points away from getting A-s! And I would really like those. I guess B+ aren't so bad, but I want to get into a good college. Like Madison? I'm thinking Madison. But I'm just a junior, I know nothing. Oh God, what if I don't get in? What were Catey's grades? She got in...but what if I am doing badly? I got a B in Chem freshman year, oh God. I suck. I suck. I suck! (hey...the last five years)
Ugh we still have a half hour left. I have finished the stupid essay final for this! Let me be. I cannot keep study for math, I will go insane. but I really should study! What is the square root method for solving quadratic equations?! Ugh die die die! Make it go away! I want it to end. Just put me out of my misery!
And what is up with Spanish? We have to write an essay in Spanish in class! We don't know Spanish! I am looking up every other word! How am I supposedto get 400 words in an hour if I have to look up 200 of them. Fool! Since when does Senora think we can actually speak Spanish, she should know better.
And English! He did not even give us all the notes. He's just like "Oh you're fine. You're fine! This is the smart class." No, we are not the smart class we are the class you like the best and usually go easy on! Fool! They're all fools! I don't know how to say poems in rhythm. You are supposed to make it up. And you read them funny so I will never be able to know what you want! Cry!
Stupid government! I hate you H. Fifteen paragraphs in an hour? Stupid, idiotic man! And now I have to deal with you in Psychology? You will make me hate my profession to be! Stupidity, thy name is H!!!!!!!!
RAWR!
Thank goodness for choir, justice, and this class where they take pity on my sanity and ask for an essay or an easy test we get each year. Oh I should go do some practice problems.
As Kory has mentioned to me, his finals were much worse so I should shut up. Well that just makes me realize that my life will continue to suck! Thanks bud...but tis not your fault. I just really want all As and I am so close! Math and Chem are only like .4 and .3 points away from getting A-s! And I would really like those. I guess B+ aren't so bad, but I want to get into a good college. Like Madison? I'm thinking Madison. But I'm just a junior, I know nothing. Oh God, what if I don't get in? What were Catey's grades? She got in...but what if I am doing badly? I got a B in Chem freshman year, oh God. I suck. I suck. I suck! (hey...the last five years)
Ugh we still have a half hour left. I have finished the stupid essay final for this! Let me be. I cannot keep study for math, I will go insane. but I really should study! What is the square root method for solving quadratic equations?! Ugh die die die! Make it go away! I want it to end. Just put me out of my misery!
And what is up with Spanish? We have to write an essay in Spanish in class! We don't know Spanish! I am looking up every other word! How am I supposedto get 400 words in an hour if I have to look up 200 of them. Fool! Since when does Senora think we can actually speak Spanish, she should know better.
And English! He did not even give us all the notes. He's just like "Oh you're fine. You're fine! This is the smart class." No, we are not the smart class we are the class you like the best and usually go easy on! Fool! They're all fools! I don't know how to say poems in rhythm. You are supposed to make it up. And you read them funny so I will never be able to know what you want! Cry!
Stupid government! I hate you H. Fifteen paragraphs in an hour? Stupid, idiotic man! And now I have to deal with you in Psychology? You will make me hate my profession to be! Stupidity, thy name is H!!!!!!!!
RAWR!
Thank goodness for choir, justice, and this class where they take pity on my sanity and ask for an essay or an easy test we get each year. Oh I should go do some practice problems.
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